if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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