She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
