i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
