My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize