the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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