Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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