so explain again why im purple
no
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
