thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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