its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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