As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
