Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize