Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
