Buhtt sex?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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