I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
