So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
