just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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