After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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