Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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