no, he came in my armpit
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
honey bunches of taint.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
