Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
