So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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