The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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