I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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