What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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