Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
