Come see our sink grown plant.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
