Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
MIDGETS
????
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
