Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize