she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
