I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
