I don't think brook has ever known best
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
