we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
