I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
