I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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