that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
