areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I want to walk on stilts...naked
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
