I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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