i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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