don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
