omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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