I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
