i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
