I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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