I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
