you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I could make wine with my vomit
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
