She's JV to your varsity
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
