Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
