the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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