my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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