i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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