Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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