I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
