Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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