i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
