I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize