Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
