Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
