i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
im holly from the hills drunk
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I didn't notice because vodka
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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