Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
