Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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